A. O. Henderson

Your plot holes are spanned. Your characterization is arced. Your scenes have been slashed and bandaged together until they’re nothing more than bones. And you’re still 10k over your word goal.

Enter the line edit.

What is line editing?

Also called micro editing, it’s usually one of the last rounds of editing prior to manuscript completion. Think less grammar and continuity, more word choice, flow, and concision.

Why does it matter?

Word count.

That is the obvious answer for me – I’m an over writer. More generally, line editing influences: word choice (stronger replacing weaker), flow (rhythm), readability (does paring the sentence down make the action/thought/description clearer?), speed (what’s the scene’s pacing, and can word choice emphasize that?), and necessity (if the sentence or word is cut, what do you lose?).

Line editing is how your manuscript is going to read.

For today, we’ll limit our discussion to necessity. To do so, consider those words and phrases which are unnecessary.

Words and phrases to (re)consider

favored words

Everyone has them. Those words that sneak in because your fingers love to type them. ‘Just’ is my guilty pleasure, followed shortly by ‘always’. Most of these favored words (also called crutch words) can be immediately deleted, but prune judiciously: I have accidentally deleted ‘just’s that were being used in the ‘judgement’ sense of the word.

If you do not already know your favored words, read through a section with unnecessary words in mind. Make a list of the ones which crop up the most, then set that list near your writing device and ctrl-f those bad boys until you can justify the existence of each and every one.

head verbs

Head verbs refer to sensory verbs: hearing, smelling, seeing, tasting, thinking, wondering, feeling, etc. You might have heard these referred to as filtering verbs.

If you are attempting to induce narrative distance, filtering verbs are fantastic. However, they are often an unnecessary barrier and can reduce a reader’s perception of immediacy.

Head verbs require more care when pruning than favored words, but can saw down a word count with comparatively minimal effort. Do not bend over backwards forcing an awkward sentence in order to chop a head verb – ‘smell’ has managed to survive every attempt I’ve made to delete it.

A simple example:

She sees the sun rising over the mountains. (8 words, 11 syllables)

The sun rises over the mountains. (6 words, 9 syllables)

Note: can ‘rises’ be replaced with a stronger verb? Absolutely! Blooms. Bursts. Emerges. Cowers. It depends on the desired tone. Don’t be afraid to be poetic, if that’s something you want to explore. Creative word choice has helped me with my word count woes several times.

When might you want to keep a head verb? Voice. Distance. Conveying shock. Zooming out. Pick your poison. Edit judiciously.

was/were verb-ing

She was running down the hill. (6 words, 7 syllables)

She ran down the hill. (5 words, 5 syllables)

I’m sniffing the bread. (4 words, 5 syllables)

I sniff the bread. (4 words, 4 syllables)

In Word, you can get creative with ‘advanced find’ under ‘more’, but I can’t speak for Docs or Pages on how you might search for these. Even with a handy ctrl-f, dealing with was verbing phrases is painstaking because sometimes they are required for tenses.

Clarity will be key for was verbing edits.

adverbs

Some adverbs are great. Some can be rolled up into a strong verb instead. Ask yourself at every one: can the sentence’s verb(s) be changed to convey the same meaning? Does the adverb add a new flavor to the sentence that cannot be conveyed more concisely?

Sometimes, you really do want to say, ‘I walk slowly through the grass.’ Sometimes, you might want: ‘I meander through the grass/I wander through the grass/I crawl through the grass/I stumble through the grass/I pick my way through the grass,’ etc.

The shorthand for spotting these? If you can reasonably stick ‘by zombies’ at the end of the sentence, and the sentence still makes sense, congratulations! It’s time to do sentence gymnastics.

I was locked in the prison by the guard. (9 words, 11 syllables)

The guard locked me in the prison. (7 words, 9 syllables)

She was running away when she was caught… (by zombies). (8 words, 10 syllables)

They caught her when she fled. (6 words, 6 syllables)

Disclaimer: like with adverbs, was verbing, and head verbs, there’s a time and a place for passive phrases. Keep as required, but bear in mind that passive phrases slow down reading speed, inflate word count, and reduce your characters’ agenda.

said

Said is not dead.

Said might consider taking a nap if there are only two characters in a scene, and their conversation is very back and forth.

“I see them,” said Martha.

“What are they doing?” said John.

Martha said, “They’re moving the elephants.”

“Shit,” said John.

Said might also consider a sick day if you haven’t added some other dialogue beat recently, such as an environmental descriptor, an emotional pause, a thought, a speaker description (such as tone of voice), or an action.

“I see them,” said Martha.

John frowned. “What are they doing?”

“They’re moving the elephants.”

“Shit.”

Said is a valuable word. Try increasing its value by reducing its usage by half.

redundancies

Redundancies can be up to arc level in scope, are very often paragraph-level in scale, and can be exceptionally difficult to spot on a line level. Search for these at all levels of editing, not merely on a micro level.

That said, on a micro level, some redundancies might look like:

The cool water freezes my hands. (6 words, 8 syllables)

The water freezes my hands. (5 words, 7 syllables)

I fly high until the ground becomes checkerboard beneath me. (10 words, 14 syllables)

I fly until the ground turns checkerboard beneath me (9 words, 12 syllables)

Note: could potentially use checkerboard as a verb. Could also replace ‘fly’ with soar.

His breathing quickens, his eyes wide. He’s scared. (8 words, 11 syllables)

His breath quickens, his eyes wide. (6 words, 7 syllables)

Note: TRUST YOUR DESCRIPTIONS. TRUST YOURSELF.

A whole paragraph going into extreme detail about an emotion during what should be a very fast sequence. (countless words, even more syllables)

He’s scared. (2 words, 3 syllables)

Note: showing is key in writing. Pacing is, too. Sometimes there isn’t the time given the pacing of the scene to slow down and go into detail on an action, description, or emotion. It’s okay to occasionally… say it.

TL;DR

If your word count remains too long after structural edits, your flow is off, something seems strange about the pacing of a scene, or a paragraph isn’t clear, focus a round of line editing on cutting unnecessary words and phrases.

1. Make a list of your crutch words and delete these.
2. Prune head verbs (filtering/distancing verbs) to reduce narrative distance (and deflate word count).
3. Was verbing phrases (I was running/they were listening) can often be simplified (I ran/they listened), but bear in mind some was verbing phrases might be required for tense continuity.
4. Remove adverbs that are not being used unexpectedly or do not convey unique information.
5. Rearrange passive sentences. Return agency to your characters.
6. Said isn’t dead, but it deserves a vacation.
7. Burn redundancies. Trust your prose.

Always consider word strength, flow, readability, speed, and necessity when line editing.

Exercises

1. Spot the crutch words. Although I filtered as I wrote, I purposefully have not edited for my crutch words. Can you identify a few of them, and does the sentence meaning change if you delete them?
2. Word count crunching. The adverbs section can be edited for word count. According to Word, it is currently 87 words long (MS Word counts the words touching the slashes as one word). Can you edit the adverbs section to be 80 words or fewer?

Questions, experiences, thoughts, or examples? Have a particular subject you would like to see explored in the addendums? Please let me know below!